Leaving so soon
Mood:  happy
Well I'm leaving soon now i asked my recruiter if i can ship out sonner than May 5th and now here I am leaving so soon to go off to basic adn get out of this shit hole!!!=D Yay!!I can't wait...dunna whats gunna happen with me and Chris though??The relationship is kinda going down hill and all=( if it dont work out i guess then it dont but i'll be surprised if it does though.He might be joining the army also.I was supposed to leave may 5th.Soo ttyl peoples

this is great
Mood:  loud
Geez i just read all my entries and they are hilarious!!!hahaha...of all the things i promised my self in them i am with Chris yet again people hahaha.this is too funny after every thing i have been through becuase i love him and all i still give him chence after chance and now i am going to marry him in march!!!geez what am i??i am happy cuz now maybe things will be different than they have been the past 10 monthes maybe we will be happy again and maybe we will trust eachother now and stop[ being like we were.i hope so...he is up in n.h. living with his mom now i miss him alot and i love him alot too.Im so happy with him now and i love him alot too.I cant wait to see him!!!!!!wooooooooooooohooooo.i cant i love him lots and i miss him

Damn I didnt know
Mood:  chatty
Well now that all this shit has happened I am now theside girl yet again to people...Chris keeps sleeping with me but he is still with Nikki,tells me he loves me but yet goes out with Nikki and cheats on her with this chick Crystal.Gezz im so pissed i hate him soo much right now i Dont want anything to do with him.At all.Im sick and tired of all this shit i go through with him and after i try and help him find an apartment he goes out and looks at a couple with Her...Then when She sleeps with Nate he comes crying to me about it...Oh well it aint my problem i dont really care anymore i couldnt give 2 shit now adays.When will i learn that is what all he is going to give me in my life??JUST SHIT!!!ove and over the world turns and over and over i make the same mistakes with him...By going back to him.After everything he has done and said to me I still love him...Oh well i will learn sonner or later when he pushes me to far and i snap or he kills me right??Im such a retard sometimes...Well all times when he is concerned.And yet again here i sit acting like i aint concerned at all,but i care alot but i havnt cried over him in a long time...

Life still goes on...
Well people chris has a new g/f and im sick of being walked on he said i was a slut for telling him that i was going out with this kid Mark I cant even friggin stand when I wasnt...I'm sick of going through all this he decided to go and get a g/f afterhe heard that i was going out with some girl named Megan...Geez I hate him so much right now.But yet here I am crying over him and asking him to get back with me.Well g2g now but i will right later.<3Donna

Today!!
Mood:  celebratory
Today is my parents 15th anniversary...they have been married for that long!!I think that is wonderful for them even though most of it sucked and was going to end up in divorce.Oh well I wish them luck.<3Donna

Life sucks...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: nothing
Well let's see first Chris tries to tell me he wants to works things out...Then says he doesn't.Well no more mind games with this one here...He is outta my life now for good.I dislike him intensly now because he put too much on me by playing mind games and lying to me.Well I gotta go now my time is almost up =(.Well peace.<3Donna

Who knows??
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: Green Day-
Who knows what I'm doing today I sure don't!LOL.I do know that I'm super bored and wanting something something really fun and exciting to do =).Like bungee jumping...I already did it but it is still a rush and it is fun but unfortunatly we dont have that kind of stuff around here =(...Or maybe sky diving I would like to try that I think it would be wicked awsome to jump out of a airplane and just fall while thinking this is friggin awsome man!!Well I'm going to find something in this small city to do that is exciting and can give me an adrenaline rush!!Hae a super day!! =D<3Donna

Hard...So hard to let go...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Papa Roach-
Geez poeple just make it hard to move on now a days...Chris writes to me and says all this shit about how he loves me and how I'm going to move on faster than him because of all these guys who hit on me...BULLSHIT!!!It's hard to move on from a serious relationship especially if you love that person and they love you...I can't stand some of this shit because this happenes every couple of months...Who knows what to do anymore??I sure the hell don't.Well thats all for now.Peace.<3Donna

I'm single again!!!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Alicia Keys-"Karma"
Hahaha Chris broke up with me because of a dumb ass excuse if he really did love me he wouldn't have broken up with me because I don't have a good job or I'm not 18 or because I'm still in school...Oh well the only thing I can say is that I'm kinda happy because now I don't have a relationship I have to stress over anymore...No more stress,lies,cheating,and Broken Promises =0)YAY!!!<3 Donna

bored as hell =/
Mood:  chillin'
sitting here being bored as hell at Nates house waiting for Chris to get back...Really bored....Well I am going to go home soon...Don't wanna but have to.=(.That sucks I wont see Chris for like another week or so.<3Donna

Prom!!
Mood:  spacey
Well prom is this Friday coming up!!And Chris can't go with me...I don't know if I want to go now though because i wanted to go with him =(.Who knows??

Happy birthady Scott have a good birthday and drink a couple for me =D <3Donna

Well...
Well I wrote to Chris yesterday and I explained to him why I wrote him that letter...It was because I can't deal with the stress of it anymore.The only reason that we had a trusting relationship when we were living together was because we ran away and we couldn't let anyone see us together so we stayed in the house all day and night and the only people we saw were the only one we trusted were Will and Ellie and Ellie lived 3 houses down and I knew Chris wouldn't do anything with Ellie and he knew I wouldn't do anything with Will....thats why we had a trusting relationship.Well I have to go now I'll write later when I get home.<3Donna

Funny....
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Nuthing cuz im at the library
Omg geez what a week eh??I got to see Chris yesterday and all that was alright and i got to talk with my cousin who we need to get to move up here becuase her boy friend is an woman beater and this kid scott geez he is fucking cool...I like him as a friend though even though he was hitting on me=).well thats good for now cuz this bitch Trisha who I hate is here and sitting nexy to me and I want to beat her ass.=D.Well I'll write later.<3 Donna

Well this weekend
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Linkin Park"Breaking The Habit"
Well this weekend Chris broke up with me =(.I dunno what to do...and on top of everything else he tells me to use a rubber if I'm going to have sex because I'm mad at him.I promised him I would nevr do that again but I guess that my promises mean shit to him.I don't understand why in the relationship we had he always was to possesive and all...I thought he wanted to treat me better but I guess he doesn't.All I asked were simple things:respect,love and trust.But I guess that it wont happen because he doesn't want it that way...well I'm going off now so I'll write again to tell how every thing goes.<3 Donna

Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Korn"ADIDAS"
Well today I went to my PT and I had to run 2 miles...geez so tired and lazy right now.Yesterday Chris got mad at me and we kind of argued a little bit.He got mad because I was going to go clubbing with my friends and he says he doesn't trus anyone and that someone may try to hit on me and all...I think he just doesn't trust me sometimes he tried to say I might cheat on him.But the thing is I wont do it a agin I forgave him and he should forgive me.Why would I cheat on him and throw away everything we've gone through just to be with eachother??I would never do that.He is also mad because I "stalked" his friends and I didn't i just wanted to know who I was going to b with sort of like a background check.I wont do it again because he doesnt want me to.The Army want to put me on active duty after I graduate because they say I am really qualified to do it and I would be really good for it...I don't know what my MOS will be yet I think I might go into mechanics for cars it would be nice.I hope that I see Chris soon because yesterday was our 1 year and 2 month anniversery and I wanted to spend it with just him but plans got changed...oh well it always happens we plan to meet up and he can't come or he is going to be really late...it gets me mad that he kind of unreliable to me sometimes.I also get mad when he says he isn't mad about something and he is but it isn't right for me to get mad when he goes clubbing or is with random girls all hours of the night but he can get mad at me for wanting to go clubbing with my friends.But i still love him just the same and he loves me.This kid Daryl I knew from a long time ago...he just died in a motorcycle accident the other night and I seen it and I didnt know it was him or anything.He was only 16 years old.Well I guess thats all for now.I'll write later on to say how the rest of the day went.<3Donna

Later today...= (
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Linkin Park-"Breaking The Habit"
Well right now I'm busy trying to get Amy and Bounty not to argue..its a waste of time to do it and I know its sound hypocrtical of me to say that but I just realized that it is a waste of time and you only get hurt in the process of arguing and it makes things worse.I will not argue anymore with anyone now because of my "Discovery" which I'm sure lots of people before me have made.I'm trying to get them to talk instead of argue...they semm to be like me and Chris I think because they bith seem to think they are going to leave each other or cheat on each other,and lie a little bit to each other.Amy is soo hard-headed too...she doesnt seem to get that Bounty is afraid of losing her to her friend Steven.Bounty thinks that Steven is trying to "worm" his way into Amy's heart and he doesn't get that she wont let that happen.He doesn't seem to get that she thinks that all these girls have the hots for him and want to be with him and Amy sees this and gets scared that he may just break every thing off and go with one of his friends that have the hots for him.Geez they are soo hard-headed it gets me kinda mad...they just have to try and work it out but I know from experience that one person can't do it for two people so they both have to try.Well thats it for now.<3 Donna

Geez what now??
Mood:  irritated
Well Chris e-mailed me last night and I have no idea what he wants to talk about I think something happened last night though...he said its good I hadn't gone after all =( I am wondering what happened I kind of don't want to know just in case he did something and all but I want to know if something bad happened.I want to know what he wants to talk about soo bad but I don't know if I'm going to see him.He is in Shirley,MA right now with a friend of his named Nate...Well I'm off to go home now because I'm at the library and I have to wait for his call if he is coming to Fitchburg.Have a good day but I don't think I will.<3 Donna

Today was not great...
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Rascal Flatts-Feels Like Today"Broken Road"
Well today I argued with Chris again and I hate arguing with him.We talked and I told him what has been on my mind the past few days because I get jealouse easily and I get mad because it seems like he is just walking over me or using me...I know he isnt butit just hurts sometimes to have him be mean to me(it makes me cry)but hey thats ok I kind of deserve some things he says.I know he doesnt forgive me for things I did in the past but I forgave him and want to try...but one person can't do it can they??I am kinda blah right now because he got mad at me because I wouldn't go with him and his friends because they don't like me at all or they don't to much.I dont' really trust any of his friends except one I like and his name is Matt...honestly I never minded it when Chris was with him and we all hung out,I enjoyed it.And another thing also is I'm kinda pissed now becausehe left me for his friends annd I have never once done that to him I always stayed even though I wanted to go...it really sucked having him get mad at me like that.Well I'm off now so peace outtie.<3 Donna